Story #4: Oh no... Oh yes!

Susanna is furious but calm until she sees the vial that the injection came from.
"Horse mackerel!", she shrieks, but nobody is home to hear her.
"Wow! What an irascible, old curdmudgeon!", she grumbles, "My writer's block is like a prosthetic leg."
"I never should have decided to give up chocolate for Ramadan and dictionaries for Lent."
She glances outside, past all the hedge animal sculptures, to the hedge wall, and again sees the monolith in her backyard.
She steps outside, smelling the citronella and all the other myriad fragrant plants she uses in her perfume formulas.
"Oh no...", she says, "Oh yes!", says James, having just returned from dinner at Pandora's Box.
James is her policeman fiance, a shining example of a man, who loves to surprise her.
He pulls a handwritten letter and hands it to her with fanfare.
Stunned, Susanna blurts out, "How in Hosanna do you have such a talent for making work a pleasure!"
"Let's invite all our friends to a lobster party next week."
James looks at the monolith and is struck by a brilliant idea.
He looks at Susanna and says, 

Story #3: Golden Danger

"Knock, knock", said Shirley.
The lawyer's secretary looked up disapprovingly.
Shirley just rolled her eyes, hoping the secretary could read between the lines.
She was used to this kind of response from her days back in Los Angeles.
She decided to change her tune, and lay on the charm and friendliness.
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to be charming and friendly", she said sweetly.
The secretary stopped in her tracks and burst out laughing.
Shirley noted the nameplate on the desk; it read Kerian Khurish.
 Shirley felt suddenly at ease, as if something that had been blocking her head melted away.
"Hi, I'm Shirley.", she beamed, "Can I call you Kerian?"
"Surely, Shirley", said Kerian, "How about trading places? How about you sit in my chair and I can take a much needed break"
"I'd love to", said Shirley, "I've never had a real job before."
"Ok", said Kerian as she strode out of the office blithely, leaving only the scent of Eternity behind her.
"Wait! Where are you going?!", Shirley yelled in a panic, "You can't leave me here alone!"
Kerian popped her head back in and said, "You're not alone. You must search the books here to find the name of your daemon and call call him - he will guide and protect you. Ciao."
Shirley was bewildered but she gamely picked up the first book she found.
She said to herself out loud, "I'm going to give this a go, but if it doesn't help me and ground me, I'm going to do something drastic!"
Shirley looked down at the book she was holding; the title read "Changing places: finding peace".
She read the title out loud and a bird fluttered down, landed on the desk in front of her and looked at her with kind eyes.
Ever unflappable, Shirley said, "This is great!"
But suddenly, Shirley smelled Eternity - and Eternity didn't smell good. It was Kerian, and she was up to no good.
Simultaneously, Shirley began to feel uneasy and the bird disappeared in a flash of sparkles.
Kerian was furious and advanced towards Shirley, who felt like she was about to be devoured. 
Shirley tried to get her bearings but then she remembered that the door was locked; she was stuck.
"Damn bird!", She yelled, "Where are you when I need you?!".
(SNAP!) And just like that, the bird reappeared in a shower of glitter.
But this time he was a raptor, the size of your worst nightmare.
Kerian screamed, while Shirley eyed the raptor with a wry smile.
"I will solve this with one fell swoop!", said the raptor with a powerful voice, "I will transform both of you with one magic act."
In the blink of an eye, Kerian turned into a nylon baseball cap, sporting the legend "Virginia is for lovers".
In the same blink of an eye, (but with a lot of glitter) the nameplate on the office changed to Shirley Jones, Supreme Court Justice of the United States of America.
Shirley put on the cap and pumped her fist, as she said "Success at last".

The end
(flash of sparkles and glitter)

Story #2: The Blowtorch of Clarity on a Bejeweled Leash

"Why the F not?", Annie thought.
She had lived with all that deprivation and this was it; she had it.
"I am definitely doing this!" she said.
"You' already doing it", said the mysterious stranger.
"I don't know where to go.", we think she said.
"You're already there", said Mysterioso the Great, "stop thinking".
"I think I'm hallucinating.", she said. 
"You are.", said M, "But I'm here to help you".
"I'm going to Beverly Hills.", she proclaimed.
"Yeah, you're not there yet.", he replied.
"Why the F not?", she thought. She picked up the phone and dialed her travel agent.
"All right! We're going and it will be different this time.", M whispered excitedly.
"Who are you?", she said to him.
"I'm your hallucination, and I'm not a man - I'm Jackie Collins + Oliver Sacks.", M sang.
"I need a one-way ticket to Beverly Hills, please.", she said into the receiver.
"Ok, it's time to put things together and make sense.", M said to her.
"That's what I'm doing!", she shouted in frustration.
"Yeah, I see that, but you've got too much stuff that you're trying to put together, and I'm here to help you; you see this blowtorch, honey?", M said
"What blowtorch?", she said confused.
"The blowtorch of clarity", M said, "that I've been waiting to use.
"I'm not seeing the clarity.", she said honestly.
"That's clarity hiding under the table; you just need to call her.", M said.
Annie bent down to look under the table, but in the process she knocked herself out.
M felt so protective of her, and that included finalizing the travel plans, packing her bags and blow torching anything or anyone that might stand in her way or hold her back.
"I must be dreaming", Annie said, when she opened her eyes.
She was in Beverly Hills, in a beautiful room, with a gorgeous view and her little dog Clarity excitedly greeting her.
She stood up slowly, taking her time to drink in her surroundings.
"The nightmare has become just a dream, and my dream has become a reality.", she mused, "and hallucination made it happen".
"Maybe I really am a Princess.", Annie thought joyfully.
"Yeah, and I'm the Big Bad Wolf!, teased Clarity, "You're anyone you want to be, Annie".
Annie walked to the door, wondering what would greet her on the other side. 
She opened the door, and there was Action, with a smiling face, waiting for her patiently and impatiently.
This came as a SHOCK!, because action was the last thing she was expecting.
"I'm not a thing.", said Action with a wagging finger, "I'm the part you that you've been waiting to knock on your door, but you just need to open it first".
"I just opened it.", she countered, "now what?".
"Let's do this", Action said, "Let's chase it down and conquer it!"
"I'm in!", said Annie.
"Let's go and out and show Clarity how big the world is!, Action exclaimed.
Annie grabbed her and Clarity's bejeweled leash and said, "Let's".
"Wait", said Action, "you need to put on your crown so everyone will know you're a princess".
"Where's my crown?", Annie asked with befuddlement.
"It's in your bag. It's the only thing hallucination packed for you", Action said, "it's the most important thing".
Annie opened her bag and saw that Action was right; she reached in and carefully put the at crown on her head.
She felt that there had been a metamorphosis in herself.

"Woof", said The end 

Story #1: What's a title? What's a name?

Once upon at time there was a guard who kept a girl from writing her story.
The trauma stayed with her forever.
She was locked in the castle of her untold story.
She very nearly went insane.
Insane was the town she grew up in.
Her strong commitment to sanity kept her form going back.
She and Sanity had gotten secretly married behind her parent's back.
Sanity was indeed the man of her dreams.
He rode horses not unicorns, and he was buff.
Wait! we just realized - she doesn't have a name!
Sanity lamented this over and over.
Actually, she had somebody else's name and that's why she refused to use it.
That name was Sense + Logic.
"Who the F gave her that name?!", said Sanity.
Sanity secretly went to a judge and filed for a name change.
Meanwhile, the girl wanted to tear down the castle of her untold story.
She hired a team of workers to help her with her project.
It was the three little pigs.
And the Big Bad Wolf.
Sanity couldn't believe it.
Sanity rushed home to save the girl from herself.
"You don't need to do that; I have a new name for you, to free you!", screamed Sanity.


Ending  1
"You don't understand!", she said.
 "Of course I don't!", said Sanity.
"But I do.", said the littlest of the Three Little Pigs.
"And you know why? Because I've had the same experience.", he continued.
Tears began rolling down his cheeks.
"Nobody would listen to me, so I let them destroy my house, my dreams."
Sanity shook his head in disbelief as the girl and the Littlest Pig hugged.
"I thought I knew everything, I thought I knew the truth, but I didn't and I don't know yet.", said Sanity.
"I'm breaking up with you!", cried the girl hysterically.
"You'll never believe me, Sanity; you can't imagine what happened because it doesn't make sense.", she proclaimed.
The Littles Pig dropped to one knee, and said, "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "Do you see me for who I really am, and if you do, then what is my name?"
"But I have your name!", burst out Sanity.
"Because you stole it from me!", countered the girl.
"Are you kidding me!", shouted Sanity, "I don't steal!"
"Why are we separate?", said the girl quietly, "Why are you against me?"
"I am so confused", muttered Sanity.
"Finally!", said the girl, "Now you finally understand what it feels like, you bastard!""
Do you realize that you've never been confused even once in all the time that I've known you."
The Little Pig spoke up, and said, "But I've been watching her and I could see her confusion the whole time; I understand her."
"So what's your point?", said Sanity rudely.
"That you have to be an animal to understand what it's like to be treated like one, live like one.", said the Little Pig.
"Wait", said Sanity to the girl, "I thought you were human."
"I am", said the girl, "but I have lived many lives, many stories in my lifetime."
"I'm done here.", said Sanity, "I refuse to have a conversation with a pig."
"That's your problem Sanity", Said the Little Pig, "if I'm an animal, how is it that I'm talking, stupid?"
The end
"For now", said The end.

Ending  2
"Now I'm confused", said the girl.
"I went to the judge and got your name changed", said Sanity.
"So you know me who I really am?", whispered the girl, hopefully.
"Yes", said Sanity somberly.
"Is it over? All the badness and confusion?", asked the girl.
"It really is", said Sanity, "Forever.
"Now I can write my own story. And I need to.", said the girl, "Will you help me?"
Sanity handed her a manila envelope. "Here", he said, "Here's the answer to your question."
She was both afraid and excited to open it.
With trembling hands she opened the envelope and drew out an official-looking document.
It declared her the official storyteller of her life and gave her a beautiful name.
"Hopeful Dreams" was the name it said, stupid.
"You can't argue that", said all the three little pigs
Even the Big Bad Wolf wiped away a tear.
"Can I be in your story?", he asked the girl.
The girl flung her arms around Sanity with joy.
"The rest of you can be characters in my story, but Sanity is the man of my dreams."
The end, stupid