Story #5: You Idiom, you!

"Bite your tongue, you wet blanket!"
"You're the spitting image of bring home the bacon!"
"Not only are you too big for your britches, you're also long in the tooth!"
"An eye for eye and a tooth for a tooth; off the top of my head, I'm going to blow my top!"
"Do you have cold feet? You wolf in sheep's clothing!"
"Mum's the word if you try to pull the wool over my eyes, you cry wolf old wive's tale!"
"I'm not going to let sleeping dogs lie; it's a dog eat dog world, but you bark is worse than your bite!"
"You're biting off more than you can chew, you black sheep calling the kettle black!"
"You're driving me up the wall; I'll have you eating humble pie out of my hands!"

"That's food for thought... we're full of beans and full of hot air."
"You hit the nail right on the head, but our hearts are in the right place."
"Yeah, they're between a rock and a hard place, so let's stop blowing our own horns and take the bull by the horns."
"We might be making a mountain out of a molehill, but we did miss the boat."
"We're in the same boat, so we need to shape up or ship out, and fly by the seat of our pants."
"I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, never went to the school of hard knocks or had to sing for my supper."
"I have no skeletons in my closet, and rain or shine, I call the shots and sell like hot cakes."

Story #4: Part 3

w/ sudden affection, she thinks "I love all animals".
She says, "You look so elfin and mischievious.", and then bursts out laughing.
"James, you mule, that's not fair! I'm a square peg looking at a round hole."
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!", quips James, "So, you finally realized it was just your reflection?"
Susanna nods peacefully, and arm in arm, they walk under the arch that says "Cloud nine".
The end (of ever writing a story again in split sentences)

Story #4: part 2

"Let's make it a safari-themed party."
For a moment Susanna senses a kicking in her belly, but she brushes it aside.
James asks, "Is something leaking on the pathway?"
"I smell oregano!", exclaims Susanna, "Oh! That's it! I forgot to eat!"
James says, "Something funny is happening with the plants; they're leaking like olive branches."
"Is it possible they were struck by lightening?"
"James, I'm feeling weak and disadvantaged, I'm about to blackout from my cravings."
"My humerus is out of whack and it's all because the magic is finally leaving my system."
"James, why didn't you bring me a brioche?"
James starts to stutter as he is overtaken by laughter.
"I-I-I brought a whole feast of chicken lo mein and everything else you can imagine."
He gently leads her through the house towards the front door, and upon stepping outside they enter a giant fair that James has organized just for her.
Susanna giddily exclaims, "Hunkapappa! Look at that amazing sight! Can we start with the food?"
She runs right over to a sign that says "Brain food from all over the world".
She hungrily devours each sample plate and she's so happy she does a little Myrtle dance.
She skips over to a sign that says "Trees of the world" and all her senses blossom and come to life.
Suddenly, she sees a twin image of herself but she doesn't believe her eyes. 
Confused, she turns to James and says, "I'm weirded out and that's making me mad."
James quickly says, "You know, when I get mad, it gets scary; when you get mad, it gets funny."
Susanna punches his arm and scowls, "Who's side are you on?"
"If you won't protect me, you're just an unauthorized visitor."
Uncertainly, Susanna faces the twin image...