Mother Teresa Sugar Mama

We discuss:
Childhood deprivation
E: Pudding? Who needs it.
Dolls? Forget about it.

E: This is the Polar Vortex.
We have the portal vehicle; why did it take us this long to get to crazy.
K: 'Cause there's no highway?
E: We need to build one!
K: We need to make an appointment with crazy.
"Excuse me, I can't talk right now. I have an appointment w/ crazy."
Actually, crazy is more than an appointment. It's a job really.
"I'm sorry.I can't help you. I have to go insane."

K: If I feel bad, why do I need to figure out why?
E: Yes, stop doing the post mortem on your feelings.

E: I'm doing brain surgery everyday.
No wonder I'm tired!

We discover:
Our childhood "jobs":
Personal Assistant
(or is it Impersonal Assistant...)
K: So many "skills"...
E: Caretaker...
K: Therapist...
E: Chef...
K: Cheerleader...
E: Social worker...
K: And most important: being depressed!

E: I knew I was working
K: Why couldn't I tell that I was?
Oh, yeah. 'Cause nobody paid me.
I did get ice cream.
E: Lucky, I didn't even get that!

K: OMK!
I failed in having a sugar daddy, too!
"Oh, it's OK. I don't need anything.
Just give me some ice cream..."
E: You're Mother Teresa Sugar Mama!

We discuss:
The resume that would go with that "desired" position.
K: Crazy resume should be written in crayon.
And include a naked drawing of myself.
E: Go for it!
And send it to me.
I might get inspired.

We discuss:
Posting crazy resume on craig's list.
K: Crazy needs to interact with the world.
To go more crazy.
E: Go for it!
I might hire you.
K: I might hire myself.

E: I want BMW.
I will do whatever you want.
You need me to wash floors, I wash floors.
You need me to eat ice cream, I eat ice cream.
You need me to wash floors with ice cream, I do that too.

K: Look at all I can do for you:
I help you relax
(You don't know how to relax.
You're a workaholic!
But don't stop cause I need to buy enough vodka to keep myself productive)

I tell you what you want
(You don't know what you want.
Or need.
Thank vodka I'm here!)

I appreciate what you have.
(You're ungrateful.
Now get back to work before my vodka runs out.)

We discuss:
Posting job "offer" for personal assistant.

Unpaid, of course.
No payment, no acknowledgement, no credit.
You do get to be a saint, of course.
K: It's scary, but there's someone out there who would answer this.
E: Scary and good.

We discover:
Being successful = Crazy
We need to go crazy.