Call me

I can't believe what happened! (call me!)
I am so disappointed in you. (don't call me judgmental)
You ruined everything. (call me helpful)
Not that it's any of my business. (please call me)
But I am outraged. (call me passive aggressive)
Not that I really care. (call me, maybe I'll answer)
But you could have called me. (ME! call ME! WAAAH!)
I would have been glad to help you. (call me codependent)
I've done enough helping, I don't need to do anymore. (call me bitter)
I hope this never happens again. (and it won't if you call me!)
Now let's move on. (cause I've got a call!)

E: Please join me in the mud.
It's dirty, it's wet, it's cold.
How can you say no?
K: Goody-goody!

I hate you in a special way.
No, really.