To doughnut or not to doughnut (doughnot?)

We discuss:
The lose/ win doughnut

K: I meet with dead horse but we only get together for 45 minutes.
E: That's good! Short time with dead horse.
K: No, dead horse is family.
Usually it is 2 hours with dead horse.
You know, this is lose/ lose situation.
E: Suit yourself.
K: So what would 45 minutes look like.
E: 45 minutes would be a very heavy coat in the summertime.
K: Ok, then 2 hours would be woolen swimsuit.
E: Yikes.
K: Please. Thank you. Make this metaphor food related.
E: Ok. 45 minutes is doughnut with big hole in the middle.
K: Ah, there you go:
2 hours is same doughnut,
but at least there is a nice crust.
Maybe even frosting.
E: And hole in the middle.

E: Did you bring your dead horse to new therapist?
K: Not yet, but I am planning on it.
E: You need therapist with a plaque on his door:
"Dead horses welcome all the time."
"Free Admission for dead horse."
K: Yes. My last therapist would not stand for any dead horses.
She lie down.

E: I listen to this, and to that; it is like a spiderweb.
K: Or like branches.
Or spider web on branches...
E: Or spiderweb on branches on dead horse!

Sofa: Yes. Please. Thank you. Dead horse wallpaper: No!

We discover:
Talking in third person
i.e. gossiping about ourselves

E: Esmerelda is undecided.
K: Kassandra heard that.
E: Esmerelda needs a few minutes to arrange her business.
K: I will inform Kassandra.
Kassandra!
Hey!!
Hey!!! Kassandra !!!
Darling...
E: Oh, so Kassandra likes sweet talk.
K: Actually, she hates it!
'Please not to call me honey.'

We discuss:
You're going where?!

E: So where is this class being held?
K: At the Psychiatric Center.
E: And you are going?!
K: Uh, yes...
E: Please not to go to place wallpapered with dead horses.
K: But...
E: Please not to go to dead horse factory.
K: Uh, maybe they have dead horse races.
E: With human jockeys!
Please not to go. Thank you. You're welcome. Goodbye.
K: Ok. I not to go.
Thank goodness they not to have snacks or I go.
E: Oh, yes. Dead horse buffet.

We expand: our curfew cushion
We need to live large(er)!

It is now a sofa.
Which shrinks to a loveseat.
Then an ottoman.
Now it's a footstool.
Then a stepping stool.
And finally a rock.
And then...
Goodbye.You're welcome. Thank you. Please.

Pig's out of the bag

K: I give away my credit..
E: And then you are in debt.
K: ...and now I have empty bag! (Sob)
E: No, now you have bag filled with black holes!

We discuss:
Costumes and baggage for characters

Russian lady Vladmira:

E: How is hair?
K: She have choppy blag wig.
E: And what is wearing?
K: Print dress.
Big prints of, let's say, children playing.
E: With knives.
K: Or little animals.
E: Playing with knives.
K: Or fruit.
E: Playing with knives.

E: And what kind of baggage for Vladmira?
K: Big, heavy handbag.
Big enough to hold pork chop.
E: No, big enough to hold whole pig!
K: Nooo...
Knife to kill pig is in bag.
Pig is running along as pet.

Southern peach Melba

K: Big Hair. Lots of different wigs.
E: What color?
K: Any color, as long as it's big.
Colorful clothes.
And small bag, full of James Bond equipment.
Shhh.

Bad English accent Edward
K: Backpack.
And Edward doesn't know what's in it.

Cheerleader Shirley
Carrying a clutch.
That she keeps losing.
But 'surely that's ok'.

Ghost Steve
K: If he has any stuff, it's hidden in some trees.

Megalomaniac Stan
K: Full set of Samsonite hidden in the closet.
And car is big handbag.

Trust us. We are totally making this up.

K: It's ok as long as you don't run me over.
E: Oh, it's ok. You can do that, too.

We invent:
Baggage therapy

Don't tell me to let go of my emotional baggage.
Give me better bag!

If I have beautiful bag, right size,
I don't need to put anything in it!

First we run diagnostic test.
What kind of bag you need?
Samsonite?
Duffel bag?
Backpack?
Lunchbox?
Handbag?
Clutch?
Change Purse?
A hole in tree in the park?

Maybe you need overnight bag.
Or, you can rent storage.
We hold it for you.

Cheerio? Cheeri-no

We discover:
Edward
The English guy who doesn't sound very English..

We discover:
We are not good at doing English accents.